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Old 09-24-2010, 07:56 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,639
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For me jealousy is about what needs I don't have met. I need to walk through the many emotions that come up and see what I find out about what I need. Then I need to be honest about what comes up to my partners. It could very well be that you want to be their top man. So be it. Nothing to be ashamed of, although highly unrealistic. It is part of nature after all.

Not talking about it with them is worrying to me. It is your issue, but it is theirs also because it is your shared relationship. I don't think there will be growth and understanding and connection built if you go it alone. You could learn a lot from them about yourself if you allow them to be your mirror. Ask them to ask you questions in the moment, tell them what words you need to hear when they say things that trigger your jealousy. Experiament with what might make it easier for you. Talk about what works out of those times and leave the rest. Most of all, don't be afraid of your jealous feelings. They are a gift in that they show us that we need to address something and make a change to something more comfortable. Learn to appreciate that and use it.

That's my take anyway... There is ton on jealousy here on this forum. Try a tag search or thread search, check out the stickies... Maybe you will find something useful.
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