B has dubbed my wife "Kitten". It's rather a sweet name. My wife doesn't like her own name, and B has identified a feline streak in her. I've given B the pet name of "star", as she has a few star tattoos that she is rather fond of. In return B gave me a necklace with a star, which I wear all the time these days. I don't have a name yet. So the three of us are an REM song now...
The days when I wasn't sure how B felt about me, or my wife wasn't sure about B, or we didn't know where the three of us stood...gone. The three of us have no trouble vocalizing our love now. In fact I got off the phone with B just now (she's talking with my wife) and we ended the conversation with "I love you"...and it doesn't feel forced or wrong at all. These are wonderful days, in comparison with all the fear and worry of the first few weeks.
Not that there is no worry or fear. As I mentioned there was a misunderstanding which B was afraid would break us up. She told me she was afraid my wife would be angry and leave her...she was OK. The three of us were in tears but we were brought closer together. We talked about all of the things that had hurt us and nearly broken us apart in the past, and our heart-to-heart (to heart?) tore down more barriers. I've never been part of such love. And then last night B received some health news which upset her greatly...she told us that if we wanted to leave her she would understand. Of course we wouldn't want to leave! Perhaps in the past her partners left over some triviality. But our bond is stronger now.
Where is H in all of this? He is still nervous about things. When B and I were in separate rooms on Sunday night snuggling and kissing H admitted to my wife that he was very nervous. The friendly bond between the four of us continues though. For example tonight H called to talk my wife through trying to find something she'd lost, and thanked her for helping B through her medical worries of the previous night. His interest in being a friend to my wife and me does seem genuine, which is calming to us all.
The legs of our triangle seem to finally be taking some shape. B and I are somewhat more spiritual in our love, a bit more serious, a bit more passionate. My wife and B are more playful in their conversation, which does help B through the tough times of her life very well. The two haven't had much time to be physically affectionate, partly because of nerves of my wife's part, but some of that will happen next time we all meet up. Which I look forward to as well
I'm learning a lot about my wife's sexuality these days, that she can be lusting after B one minute and craving me the next. B's been feeling that for her whole life, but it's a new experience for my wife. I am not complaining
We're still not completely free and we perhaps never will be. We don't have all the time in the world to be with B and we know that. A Sunday night here, a weekend there, an afternoon or evening date here or there. But we're talking every night, the three of us. It shows something about H's sweetness to us that he got us a webcam so we can talk to the two of them together and actually see their faces (and on one memorable occasion much more...B being B again
). But we carry on. We're seeing them Sunday night, then next Sunday night. A month from now we'll have most of a weekend together...we can't wait. Then who knows? A month ago I told B I loved her then within hours I almost lost her. A month is a long time...and the days between the times we see her grow long...but we are surviving. Less than three days until the next time!