Originally Posted by PollyPocket
One of the reason for our big blow up in Communication yesterday was because I 'suggested' an agreement - reading that chapter in the Ethical Slut now! It sort of made sense, since I find myself feeling jealous/envious/bitter mostly when things are sprung upon me! C is VERY fly by the seat of her pants and all over the map a lot, which I can be too, at times, but no where close to her universe roaming!
My idea was that we try to give each other notice, especially when hubby and C wanted to do things exclusively....which hasn't happened often, if ever, yet.
FYI-I consider it a good idea to take situations about PRIVACY as they come.
However, we DO have a boundary list and it's VERY intricate and detailed to meet the needs of each of us.
For example, we DO schedule alone time.
We don't move from friendship into any type of affection beyond a simple hug without prior approval from our SO.
Each step forward in a relationship goes through approval from our SO.
I don't have sex with GG when Maca is home.
No sex with others in SO's bed or shower.
No overnights with others if SO is available.
(it goes on and on).
I think a boundary list IS VERY IMPORTANT.
It just so happens that "privacy" is on our boundary list-but it's not put so specific that we can't work with it circumstantially...
"Privacy of SO will be respected and personal information/details about them will not be shared without their permission."
That gives us freedom to work with it. As a rule of thumb, within the boundary of our family-it's no big deal. But outside of the family dynamic-we double check.