I got to work today and gave J the rabbit which she loved... and the day went swiftly downhill from there.
She's met someone, and is waiting for him to call.
I'm completely at a loss... I don't know if I should tell her my feelings, if I should back off and hope she's happy with him or what I should do. I care about her and I'm genuinely happy for her, but at the same time it's eating me up inside.
Since Tonberry and I decided on an open marriage J is the one person I've met that I've thought I could have a relationship with, and now it seems like just so much wishful thinking on my part. I know I could have fallen in love with her given the chance.
I bottled it all up until I could get home from work, when I could just hug Tonberry and cry. I feel like an idiot for letting my hopes get too high, like I was stupid to believe she could be interested in me, and now I'm going to be completely depressed going into my vacation and I can't tell more than half the people I know why.
I'm going to go make myself something to eat and cry a little more so I can get it all out before I have to go back to work again... where I'll be spending six hours with J. It's not going to be an easy day.