Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
I can see both sides and I've found myself in a number of positions regarding this.
I think it works best when you can take each situation as it presents itself.
If you create a "rule" to abide by-and then something comes along that doesn't fit into the rule, you have to figure out what's more important, the rule or the problem that doesn't fit in it. ...
One of the reason for our big blow up in Communication yesterday was because I 'suggested' an agreement - reading that chapter in the Ethical Slut now! It sort of made sense, since I find myself feeling jealous/envious/bitter mostly when things are sprung upon me! C is VERY fly by the seat of her pants and all over the map a lot, which I can be too, at times, but no where close to her universe roaming!
My idea was that we try to give each other notice, especially when hubby and C wanted to do things exclusively....which hasn't happened often, if ever, yet.
I realize that this is a 'control' thing on my behalf, but to be fair, this love affair was suppose to NOT go on so long...and certainly at the beginning, had all 3 of us MORE involved (as mentioned!).
So, now....I am torn between letting go of the reigns and what will happen, will happen or 'trying' to keep it all 3. Both options, for me, are NOT that great. I realize this.
Ug...a bit of a mess....thrown together with a whole lotta fun and good times. It all is very confusing....
Thanks for listening..