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Old 09-23-2010, 05:18 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,433

I think my main concern would be how feasible it would be for you to keep studying and have a child.
There is the finances: if paying for the school is already going to be hard, it will be harder with an extra mouth, and children can be very costly.
There is the time: can you have enough time for studying while having and then raising a child?
And of course the focus: even if you make it to your classes, will you focus knowing your child is away? Will you even be able to focus due to the lack of sleep?

So, I guess my first instinct is, does that mean you have to choose? And if so, choosing to have a kid might mean not being able to go back to studying for many years... While finishing the studies first would get them out of the way, and you'd have a degree for finding a job whenever you want to go back to work (I don't know how long you'd want to take for your child).

On the other hand, being 3 people rather than 2 would certainly help spreading the tasks more evenly, giving everyone more time without the child to take care of, and so on. But is the partner who wouldn't be the father willing to help with that? And does he even live with you guys?

The thing is, with school, you can change your mind pretty much at any time. Stop earlier, or go for a longer degree, or whatnot. With a child, once it's started it's done forever, there will be an extra person to take into account and all of that.

I think ultimately, you need to try and think what would be best for everyone involved. For the child, for you, for the father, for your other partner (in that order, in my opinion).

Good luck!
Me: 31F, straight
Seamus: My husband, 32M, straight
Dragon: My boyfriend, 29M, pansexual, married to Fox
Fox: My boyfriend, 29M, homoflexible, married to Dragon
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