I moved the discussion.
I expect anybody whom I'm going to date to meet my wife, just to make certain it's understood my wife does know and that I'm not looking to cheat on her or replace her or any other silliness.
I don't assume any woman who's involved elsewhere will want me to meet her other involvements early on. I look for warning signs--only wants me to call the cell and not the home phone, only calls me from someplace away from home or when alone at home, doesn't want me to call her at home, doesn't want me to know about plans they've made (for fear I might attend the same event?) and so forth. A set of warning signs and lack of meeting the other involvements is a sign for me to walk on.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.