Moonglow: regarding your first post...
It takes MORE courage to stick it out through the tough & down times than it does to end things. You've stuck it out, you are sticking it out, you are courageous! Sometimes just existing is what we need in order to give ourselves and our emotions a break from all the hurt. There is nothing wrong with this as long as you don't let it go on & on & on.
Now, I'm glad to see you're sounding better
Find a councellor that you like & works for you. You'll find you will feel a bunch better after just the first visit.