Thread: A new adventure
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Old 09-22-2010, 01:05 PM
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Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
Wow....WTF is this crap? I am experiencing bouts of jealousy, of all things! From day to day, I am a wreck, then I am on a high and all is well...Then I am on a low....Then a high...Then a low again. UGGH! It is driving L NUTS! And she feels like it is all her fault even though it's not.

Example: Yesterday morning, I was fine. I felt like a million bucks. Then, a trip to Target with L and I am in the dumps again. I'm not sure, but it seems as though her texting her D put me over the precipice.
Examine what's happening to put you in a down mood. It sounds to me like you are not getting enough one on one time with L. Maybe the two of you need a date night where the phones go off (or at least unanswered except for family emergencies) on a very regular basis.

Quote:
Her NRE drives me crazy sometimes, yet it's fun to watch at others. How do you guys get through this without ruining it all? L wants to simply call the whole relationship off. But that's not fair to HER, or her D. I really DO like seeing her so happy, but to constantly be put on the back burner is disconcerting at times. And I have no way to occupy my mind when it happens. So....How do you deal with it?
Are you really being constantly put on the back burner or does it just seem that way because you need some serious one on one time with no outside distractions?

It sounds like some deep introspection & couples communication is in order.

How do I deal with it?

If I like the person Breathes is in a relationship with I don't have any problems. We have our weekly day/night where it is just the two of us & no one else is invited without both of us agreeing to it.

If I don't like the person then the jealousies and insecurities set in & I have to remind myself A LOT that it is me he chooses to come home to every time they're together

I find things easier now, too, since I have my own other partner. I was feeling like the odd woman out & a fifth wheel if we got together. Now that I have Possibility in my life I find my jealousies and insecurities don't show up as often.

When I've had my worst problems we've put all other relationships on hold so we/I could deal with the issues without fear of someone getting hit by the shrapnel. This has happened twice in five years. The first time was his first other relationship after we got together. I simply didn't have the tools I needed in order to deal with my own emotions and insecurities. www.xeromag.com helped immensely with this!

The second time was after the death of my Mom so I could grieve & so Breathes could be there for me without my having to wonder when he would be there & so he wouldn't have to worry about my mental & emotional state dealing with grief AND any other emotions which might arise because of other relationships.
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