Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
I think disclosing this desire and habit of talking about others would be an important part of building new friendships. Some people may not want thier information shared and therefore may chose not to invest deeply if they think what is shared with you will be passed on to others without consent.
Not using names is only effective in very large communities. In smaller circles people can logically figure out who you are talking to. And again, this would not be fiar to a person who expects privacy.
Fair enough, but I don't tend to make someone obvious by talking to people who know the person I am talking about unless I think that they have info that could be helpful and have that persons best interest at heart also. It really depends on the nature of the concerns. There are definitely concessions..