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Old 09-21-2010, 09:39 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,660
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I think information is for sharing... not necessarily with names attached but for understanding and getting support.

I'm not sure what kind of info you are talking about so this might not be valid, but I will bring it up anyways, in case it is valid.

I think that there needs to be a word for talking about others with the understanding that it is to understand them better and to know how to support them. "Gossip" is not the word for me. I talk about people all the time in the spirit of loving them and trying to understand where I fit with them, how I can be there for them and when I should just back away. I would hope that others do the same with me.

"Gossip" is negative talk to defame a person as far as my definition goes. This is not what I do, unless I need to have a good vent before getting to the root of what I am going off for and then sorting it out so I can reach a place of understanding and empathy... reach a place where I can move forward. Gossiping doesn't move anyone forward, it shackles people and that is just plan unfair and hurtful to me.

I think that all too often in our culture we are made to think that keeping our mouths shut about hard stuff is the way to go. I disagree. Its the hard stuff that is what NEEDS to be talked about.

Sure, it's uncomfortable to talk about, and sometimes the timing is off which makes it awkward or we feel bad about talking behind someones back, or we just think that in telling another we are betraying trust... if it's to sort something out for ourselves then should we not talk about it? Isn't that what open and honest communication is about?

I would feel far more respected if I knew people were talking about me behind my back in the spirit of understanding me and getting to know me. I love that! I would feel offended, betrayed, disrespected and overwhelmed with my vulnerability if I knew someone was gossiping about me in accordance to my definition of the word.
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