and now after taking some time to sit with the responses, I think I can respond more clearly.
thanks for the blunt comments. I think the reasons I am not leaving are:
1. I do care for him and he doesn't want our relationship to end, and I don't want to hurt him more than he is already hurting.
2. The fact that we have a child together. Our daughter means the world to both of us and I don't want to destroy their relationship.
3. I feel like it would be such a disappointment to so many people who know and love us and our relationship (stupid reason, huh?).
4. I'm scared that this is all NRE and then I will regret it later.
I do think that I still love him, but I'm struggling with whether I love him as a friend or more than that. It is hard to just sit and wait because of lots of factors, but primarily because I want to see where the other relationship is going. I want to give it everything I have, I want to let myself submerge in it, and I can't do that now. I do know that that is probably NRE talking, but it's strong and deep and hard. The connection I feel with this other man is beyond anything I have ever felt and I hate not being able to let it run its course. I am finding myself resentful of the time I have set aside for my DH, and I don't like feeling that way. Is all of this normal? help.
I can imagine not being married to him anymore and it only makes me sad for him and our child, not for me. If I were to think of never having him in my life at ALL anymore, then yes, that would make me feel sad. Not sure if it would feel like a mistake though. I will keep thinking on that. Thanks for the thoughts.