Thread: A quandary
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Old 08-08-2009, 06:04 AM
Nyx Nyx is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: north america
Posts: 53
Default A quandary

I have a friend whom I have known for 6 years and over that time, we have had several run-ins where we made out, a little petting, but nothing overtly sexual - aside from that we are great friends and really care about each other....he and I have both stated our attraction/interest, but for one reason or another it never progressed further than that.

So tonight, I was at a bbq at his house and he had his new gf there. I am suddenly sad and a little jealous. See, I am dating my bf who is poly and this is all new to me. I know that I can date other men, but I have no idea how this man who has been my friend for so long, could possibly be one of those on the "ok to date" list.

So I have to ask you experienced poly's out there: how the heck does one broach the subject of dating multiple people??

This friend of mine, he knows the situation between my bf and I. We had briefly talked about dating multiple people (not us specifically) and he basically said that he might be ok with it, but couldn't imagine what it would be like.

I waited too long to approach this friend about possibly being my 2nd (I was unsure of my own motivations and desires) but now that I feel ready to find a 2nd person, he is now not "available".

Should I approach him anyway? I know he wouldn't be mad at me, but I fear that his gf would get upset and make trouble. How do you guys deal with this sort of thing? Maybe I should just avoid approaching him at all?

I just feel frustrated because I have also tried some dating websites, but as soon as the guys discover I have a bf, they stop responding.
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