@ Redpepper - Thanks for this reminder. I think in my current (slightly wounded, somewhat at-sea) state, that sort of clarity and forthcomingness doesn't come naturally to me. I'll just be real and solution-oriented with her.
I still wonder, sometimes, if this kind of political/interpersonal wackiness doesn't make dating a poly person a little too chaotic for people like myself who have little interest in multiple partners. But then, mono relationships seldom sail smoothly all the time, either. I guess that's life.