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Old 09-20-2010, 07:17 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

hm, interesting. So there is a connection yet a difference between sexual and emotional fidelity? Where does poly-fi fit then?

For me it's about sex, not both. I relate emotions to sex, but can be emotionally connected without it. I am connected when I have sex. I am connected in other ways too.

Does that make sense?

I find it interesting because some people in my community call me poly-fi, yet I wonder if sex for them is based on the same things I experience. There seems, from the outside, that they have sex for recreation as well as to connect... yet I wonder if they have the capacity to do so without the sex?

I wonder this because I have known people who, when they here that I am not available for sex, they don't know how to act around me, don't know how to relate to me and aren't used to being friends or close to someone that is not sexually available. I have known this in my mono life for sure. It's like, "she is not available so I won't bother getting to know her."

It makes me feel that I am not worth anything to them and it makes me feel in turn that the term poly-fi is in someway less than or not valid and that the people who decide on this kind of poly, what ever it means to them, are secluded and in their own world that is a part from the rest of the poly world. They have in some way sold out... or are on a different path that is far from poly that is more open sexually.

Really, who cares... I am confident in what I do and how I engage in my relationships with others. It's ashame that there is a rift that is caused sometimes, but I at least do my best to build bridges. I keep at it for that reason.

sorry, I feel like I am not being clear as this is all emerging for me.. thanks for baring with me. I appreciate all the insight.
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