Thanks everyone for the answers...you all gave me alot of things to think about that would never have even crossed my mind so I really appreciate being able to get advice from people who know what they're talking about!
Think im going to wait until I go visit her next time & have a chat about it then. That gives me time to think about what I want/where my boundaries can be, so hopefully we'll be able to come to some middle ground! Also don't really want to be having this conversation over the phone lol.
Thanks again for all the advice & different perspectives, it's really appreciated.