TeJeKo, this forum isnt really for sex advice per se. But most of us here really like sex, or we wouldnt be poly, b/c sexy feelings are involved with exploring multiple partners!
I know youre in therapy and it's apparent you have low self esteem and bad feelings about your body in general. How it looks, how it works. I am sure that's affecting your ability to orgasm with your current and past partners.
The advice here has been mechanical. Touch here, touch there, clit, gspot, vibrators, etc. This article addresses the mechanics as well as the emotional component, which seems to be your main issue.
I am sure, if you continue with therapy, your self-love and life in general will finally improve over time. Your sexual response and abilities will come along with that.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 41, M (dating since Oct 2015)
and a few more casual relationships