Great talk about NRE
My experience with NRE is that, beyond physical obsession, it creates a bubble around me and my partner. It's not a bubble of oblivious illogic but one of protection. NRE shielded me from the judgement and doubt of others. (I was also judged when I got married the first time). I think this was very important in the beginning of my relationship with Redpepper. We had so many hurdles and differences to face that if I was affected by the opinion of my friends I would not have been able to get through everything else. I was basically invulnerable to external pressures amplified by the male ego.
While we definitely have an intense relationship with a lot of "NRE" aspects, that bubble of invulnerability has faded for me. I have become more protective of my privacy and more susceptible to the judgement of others outside of our poly community.
I think NRE can create a temporary reality that has a certain element of illusion. It's like playing in Never Never Land until you grow up and find yourself on the outside looking in. It is a small personal reality that temporarily removes us from the large body of everyone else's.
I think it is the relationships that are built on solid foundations that will be up to the challenge of flourishing even after we are no longer running around in our Peter Pan getaways. Of course that is often the time that some will look for a new path back to Never Never Land.