I'm no expert, but a lot of this sounds psychological to me... there may well be physical aspects (everyone is different, etc.) but I'm sensing a lot of negativity and low self-esteem both of which will undoubtedly affect sexual desire/response.
But yes, there is a point to sex without orgasm... sometimes it's just nice, y'know... more intimate than cuddling up, more relaxed than sex-with-orgasm... it's difficult to explain!
Also: "you gonna cum for me baby?" Seriously? Dudes actually say that? Gosh. I think Mrs. D would tell me to fuck right off if I said that to her, and rightly so!