I agree with your DH, it's early days yet and I think you should wait a good couple to three years to see where you are at. I have a similar situation to you in that I have a husband (PN) and child and now a boyfriend that is mono (Mono). I have been deep in my NRE with this man and feel very passionate and bonded with him. With my husband I love him, but it is the attachment I love about him, rather than the lust and passion... there is nothing wrong with that at all, that is not a facade. The two types of love are valid and to be cherished. I decided to cherish them and it has made me feel much more whole.
This link might help with the understanding of love... http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...t=helen+fisher
There are other interesting threads on here that might help... if you do a search on love you may find some. A tag search might work best.