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Old 09-19-2010, 10:59 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Originally Posted by missred89 View Post
Hi all,
..I have been with my girlfriend for just over a year & I know she's 'the one'. .................I told her I would still be absolutley gutted if she was with someone else, and I would consider it cheating.
I have to ask..what are your criteria for a partner to be "the one"?

If any of them is not having sex with other people, than a person who is going to have sex with other people doesn't qualify.

Is she prepared to repress herself? Are you prepared to share her sexually with others? (The places you kiss will be kissed by others). Are you prepared for the feelings of guilt in not being able to give her everything she wants?
Are you prepared to hold her if her heart is broken by another person she loves?

These are tough questions, but anyone in a mono/poly relationship dynamic is going to have to face them. (You sound mono inclined)

Do lots of reading and really find out what she wants from life...because when you use words like "the one" it implies a long term commitment. If she wants more than "the one" you'll have to be able to support her and still maintain your own personal health. She'll have to support you as well.

Poly relationships are a lot of work...mono/poly relationships are arguably even more.

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