Originally Posted by NeonKaos
...Not saying it doesn't happen, but it implies that something is wrong with your "real" relationship just because you have feelings for someone else.
He claimed to feel trapped. That's one of the signs of the sterotypical mid-life crisis. Whether that means there is actually something wrong with the relationship or not is a matter for him to work out; as I understand things, sometimes such a crisis does indicate problems with a marriage and other times it has nothing to do with the marriage. So pointing out the resemblance to a mid-life crisis really doesn't indicate a judgement of something being wrong with the relationship--I'm simply responding to his discontent and suggesting he figure out the source of it.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.