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Old 09-19-2010, 06:30 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723
Default poly fidelity... what is it?

I just realized something. My idea about poly fidelity is on the extreme end of what it means. I think that it is like some monogamous relationships whereby the two involved donít have much going on outside of their partnership. They donít have friends of their own and donít do anything without the other. Not only that there is a notion that if they did then they would somehow be coerced into leaving the other because of a perceived deeper connection being developed.

I have been seeing poly fidelity in the same light as some monogamous co-dependant relationships. Sure there are some like that and that is fine, but there are not allÖ itís a continuum (much like many thingsÖ poly/swinging, straight/gay, deep connection/acquaintance). I havenít embraced poly-fi as a possible description for myself because I have several relationships going on at once and intend to have others. I am deeply connected to some people and have a lovely warm connection that makes my heart happy with others.

It comes down to sex really. Is Poly-fi is about sex? Sex with only a select few and is that group closed? Is there other options outside of that or is that not an option because you chose it or because it means losing someone you love?

Why does this come down to sex? I have sex with a select few and have deep relationships with many that I wonít be having sex with. Why is this a description at all? Why do I feel as if I am forced to use the term poly-fi as a description of my relationship dynamics when it doesnít fit somehow? Is it because I see sex as a means to deep connection yet can have that connection otherwise? Does it somehow make light of my connections that arenít sexual? I find this annoying for some reasonÖ and am looking to get at the bottom of itÖ.
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