Thread: figuring it out
View Single Post
  #8  
Old 09-18-2010, 10:41 PM
Lover2all Lover2all is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 5
Question

i don't necessarily want to share this person with her...i meant more sharing her experience with me in the sense of verbalizing it and talking to me about it...and i do want to know this person she's seeing because really...i think we would have a lot in common and ultimately, i think that's how i envision poly...hanging out on occassion together...kickin it...with all parties involved...and being okay with that...and i also know you can't make another person want something they don't...both in the sense of me wanting her to want me sexually and me wanting to hang out with her new relationship person...

i know two weeks ago, immediately after dealing with the death in my family, i was in a sore spot due to really old abandonment issues and grieving that was getting layered and all mixe up in this and couldn't articulate and understand a lot of that but i do now...we have a history of 9 yrs living together and almost 16 of knowing one another...make no bones about it, i'm sure there are some attachment issues and i also know in my heart and head that i love her for everything she is and isn't and everything in between and want her in my life and looking for ways to progress to living day to day and big picture life healthily and happily...

are there any less hardline, maybe more experiential strategies that have worked for folks in similar situations? i guess i'm looking for something tangible that doesn't push anyone into ultimatums or not feeling fulfilled...because ultimately i'm fulfilled, it doesn't take much to be honest, i'm really self sufficient and independent and also want to feel valued, loved and respected...and my feelings are more on the 'desiring' and wanting side of things...than 'need'...i want to be loved in a 'whole' way by her and at the same time, i don't need that to be happy...

Last edited by Lover2all; 09-18-2010 at 10:45 PM.
Reply With Quote