Having J over for dinner went well. It wasn't as awkward as I worried it would be. They got on fine. I'd made the offer a few weeks ago and didn't expect it would happen so quick because J had been working in another city. That ended faster than expected.
I figured, since I'd invited him over, I'd wait awhile before bringing it up again so as to not make him feel pressured. I was very happy that once he was back in town, he asked to come over on his own. I guess I expected him to be dodgy on the subject. They both impressed me with how at ease they were around each other and that J wants to hang out again sometime. He said the only moment of awkwardness he felt was when it came to seating during the movie we watched.
My own awkwardness was due to having not seen J for a while and wanting to jump on him.
but I didn't think Husband would care for that.
I wish the situation with S had as much ease to it. One of my biggest peeves is secondhand last minute invitations to include me. I've never trusted them and when I want someone to be included in an outing, I invite them personally. Both S and Husband know this about me because it has come up before. I have told them that I feel not inviting myself to something they plan to do is something done out of respect.
Yet twice now, they've made plans without me and then afterward
, tell me I should have come along. They had planned a bike ride for this weekend earlier this week and Husband said I can come if I want. I thought I would go. But then yesterday morning while talking to S, she tells me she doesn't think she will be over her cold enough to keep those plans.
So this morning I ask Husband what his plans for the day are thinking the ride was canceled. No, its still on. I ask when it was decided for sure that they were going and he says they solidified their plans yesterday an hour AFTER she told me she wasn't going to be well enough to go. How am I suppose to not feel excluded by that? Husband might genuinely not care if I come along, but it definitely makes me feel like they or she would rather I don't come. I wish they, he or she whichever, would just say so. Coming along anyway with all the mixed signals just makes me feel like I'd be intruding.
I'm going anyway. eff it. I figure the only way to know for sure is to go and see if it's weird.