He is actually mono. I'm the only poly. She doesn't know that we are together, but she has her suspicions. The thing about her is she was very controlling when they were together. He wasn't allowed to go anywhere with out her. He lost all of his female friends. Ect ect. When he left her she hid his daughter from him for 2 or 3 months until they finally had their court date to start the divorce. Now that she has no control over his life she uses their daughter to control what she can.
It's very upsetting to watch. He has given up weekends for her because they had something big to do, but he cannot get the same in return. (which he has stopped giving up days) I sit quietly as best I can because my opinion and frustrations are irrevelant. But I do speak up when iit effects my daughter. Soon he will be going back to court to tweak the custody arrangement. I am hoping that they grant him a little more freedom. It's very hard to watch her toy with him this way and more freedom from the court could put him at ease and myself as well. My fears of her control would lessen I'm sure.