One of the things I'm realizing about poly is that it is more common than I first believed.
People who are happily in a poly relationship don't do it for public recognition/acceptance. They do it for themselves and their partners.
This leaves the "regular" folk to only hear of it when a poly relationship is struggling and it gives the impression than nothing good ever comes of it. So if you take your problem to most relationship advice forums you get a bunch of "you were playing with fire" and "what did you expect?"
It hit me how a mono relationship can have a struggle and people will lend an ear and sympathize because "all relationships have problems sometimes. you just have to work at it because good relationships take work."
But a poly one of any kind isn't included in that "all relationships have problems" view.