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Old 09-15-2010, 07:13 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by dub1h View Post
I agree and have decided to hold off on saying that for some time. Love seems like such a strong word..
Perhaps my idea of polyamory is incorrect, but I feel like love can take any form, any strength, and still be love.
Can someone tell me why friends with benefits wouldn't be considered poly? Can love not be involved with that sort of "casual" relationship as well?
Hey Dub1h,

If it's any help to you, a lot of this is loaded with semantic traps. A little more studying and you'll find that the term we throw around as 'love' has many facets & definitions. RedPepper just posted an interesting link in another thread of a talk by a leading anthropologist trying to lend some insight to the chemical basis behind all these confusing feelings & emotions. I can't look it up right now but maybe RP will chime in or I'll try to locate the thread when I close this post.

As far as clarity around what's 'poly' and what's not - that's also much debated. And as others have mentioned, labels don't have a lot of use in many circumstances. But it might be helpful that the term 'polyamory' came into being as a term (label) to describe multiple meaningful relationships that had grown beyond sexual limits. So that's the foundation. Since it hit the public's eye a lot of people have either tried to re-define it or gain some clarity around the myriad of gray areas that can be involved.

If it matters, and you feel you need a true understanding (for yourself only) you need to dig into what the term 'love' (amory) means to YOU. Only then can you discover what poly-amory means.

But the one thing I feel comfortable saying is that it's NOT about sex - only as a possible component of the whole.

Good luck in your search.............

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