Originally Posted by redpepper
So, I'm wondering if his version of poly, his poly description as it were, is just simply different than yours? Perhaps he is of the camp where by you and he have no right to be concerned and upset over each others other lovers and the dynamic or comings and goings of others? The whole idea where poly means we are completely self contained units that come together under the guise of love and fuck at will then go on to other lovers while believing that we are still available to and can make the other available for "love." No emotion of connection beyond the moment, no commitment other than to the relationship in the moment. Some would say, no ownership and partnership other than the moment. No thought for the future beyond the moment. Is that his way somehow? (I'm sorry if I am not explaining things well, but it isn't my kind of poly... I hope I am in some way doing it justice)
Perhaps your description of poly is about respecting in a different way. About being connected beyond the moment, being committed to working stuff out so as to have a future together. To grow together and connect together beyond a moment; towards a common goal of being together. Of belonging in each others lives, as family members feel like they are part of a family?
I am finding out this very much seems to be the case.
We have a lot more talking to do.