not sure it's worth it
It's a relief to read that at least one other person doesn't think poly was worth it. I thought I was doing pretty well for a while, having a girlfriend in addition to my wife for almost a year. But then things blew up and I almost lost them both. The girlfriend (who I just broke up with) started demanding more and more of my time, and seemed to care less about respecting my marriage and more about getting her own needs met. I'm filled with sadness and disappointment that someone who I thought really cared about me could turn out to be so cold-hearted.
I know that my bad experience is more about one particular individual and less about poly in general, but I know that the reason I didn't see her true character sooner was because I was (and probably still am) in love with her. Trying to make rational decisions and balance multiple relationships while being crazy in love and having hot sex with a new person is really hard. The chances of error seem very high, and since I'm already in a relatively happy and stable marriage, I have a lot to lose.
Just not sure it's worth it, for me.