This post is fantastic, RP, thank you so much. You should really post this on a fetish site as it's very valuable information regarding consent and personal responsibility in bdsm relationships.
I've been engaging in bdsm play for over 20 years and am frequently appalled at the number of people who will cross their own boundaries because they feel pressured in a social situation. I take my role as a Domme (when I am Domming and not subbing) very seriously and expect my submissives to communicate to me beforehand what their boundaries are; while I play I watch for signals to make sure it's all good. This particular party challenged me because I wasn't expecting to Domme anyone but I ended up doing it anyway. Good fun, but sooooo tiring!
I've seen you at parties and have the utmost respect and admiration for your bdsm ethics. Yet another reason I'm glad to know you.