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Old 09-14-2010, 06:29 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

I wrote this in response to a BDsm event I went to this past weekend and wanted to start documenting what I say on other threads as a way to remember them...
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
It's very serious Mono. I take it very seriously. I also take peoples requests very seriously also. I played with our friend last night also and although others asked I knew she had asked for the right reasons. Her and I have talked at length about what it would mean to her and she knows I don't do it for show or for control. I do it for my own release as much as the one I play with. I derive huge pleasure from knowing that I am giving an out for those I play with.

In the case of my friend I know she would not allow things to continue if she felt she was being used in some way or felt she wasn't getting out of it what she wanted. She would stop play. I know she would by the fact that she has with other people in a recreational sex way.

With you Mono, there is huge understanding. I can read you and you me. I keep at you with questions if I think there is something up.... we rely on each other to keep each other safe. Our D/s is a truly balanced relationship. You are the best subby ever. no doubt about it.

I don't go to events to be watched, although I know I am... I go to use the equipment and see friends. I like to dress up, don't get me wrong, but when it comes down to business I am gone, lost in the moment, whatever the terminology is.... I don't keep track of what words I am suppose to use. I find the terminology restrictive. Last night was no different.

I was disturbed last night as I watched those engaged in their displays of dominance and submission. A lot of people were keen on the drama of it all and liked to be watched. Others were there to either find a dom or find a sub. A select few were there to actually engage in a power exchange that was balanced.

I notice almost every time a dom seemingly pushing a sub farther than I can see they want to be pushed... As I watched last night I noticed a sub agreeing to more of a beating because she seemed to want to be agreeable. Something I would do all too often in the past when I subbed. I used to do this with sex also, I know the look and I know the look of the one asking for more.

My friends I were with said, "no she is in sub space." I disagreed. If she was in sub space then she would have a lost look in her eyes, not complete terror, resignation and then vacancy, in that order. The dom didn't notice as he was just way too thrilled to be allowed to beat her more. Yes, she agreed, so why wouldn't he... he had only met her though, how would he know the subtleties she presented?

Like sex, I think I am just as much an advocate for not playing until one knows ones play partner. And then keeping full tabs on them until being completely sure they are okay. BAH! When does it end. I ended up looking away. Completely triggered and self talking that it had nothing to do with me. Maybe avoiding looking should be my vow from now on. That would be like a hockey player vowing not to watch a hockey game right in front of them if they were at an arena! I vowed to be the best damned dom ever instead. All my own learning. All my own journey. Nothing to do with anyone else.
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