Originally Posted by Morningglory629
Hi Ragabash! Glad you straightened me out on the misread.
And really interested in your take on your mental adjustments. Honestly your answer really kind of further affirms my feeling that we have a similar path going. I am interested to know where in your journey you had a change of heart. After meeting someone, or before? When did the wiring change? Optimism makes all the difference in every life change.
Well, I wouldn't say so much that the wiring changed so much as I took some time to rethink some social conditioning. Before Tonberry I never knew anyone poly, so my frame of reference was limitted to say the least. I can't even say that it was meeting J, because I've known her for over a year, though not very well until the last few months.
Really, I couldn't tell you where exactly I came to realise I could be happy either way, because I don't think it was any one thing. Maybe it was Tonberry being in a relationship with Sean (her BF)? It was definitely after that I admitted to myself my interest in J. Tonberry wasn't really surprised when I told her, I'd admitted in the past that I found J attractive but at the time it didn't go further than that.
As for optimism, J is coming over for dinner tonight after work to meet Tonberry for the first time. It's just a friendly meal, I haven't expressed my interest directly to her yet, and I don't want her to feel trapped when she's here. As much as I'd like things to move faster, it's for the best that they don't, and that also gives time to slowly introduce her to the idea of being part of the relationship. If she does, then comes all the fun of Tonberry and I coming out to my parents, which will be... interesting.