Originally Posted by Vinccenzo
Has anyone else had to deal with their partner continuing to see someone that they think will be nothing but trouble? I feel strict over this but it isn't some nameless fear or feeling without reason. I imagine her being over and me right where I was before, being distant.
Oh ya! Read the "Relationships without prescriptions" thread that is going on right now. Or do a tag search for "veto." It's a debate. How much can one say about their primaries partners partners.
I totally get the whole dilemma. My PN, had a lover that was not that into him. She enjoyed casual sex with him and thought he was cool enough to hang out with, but she didn't love him and he was madly in love with her to the point that he wasn't paying attention to our family, his child, his obligations... he swooned all day and night in his NRE over her and she didn't give a shit. Eventually I told him that he needed to end it and why. He was angry and hurt that I would think of her in such a way, but I told him that it was all bullshit and that he needed to end it or I would for him. He thought about it all night and decided that he would listen to me and his gut instinct and wrote her an email ending it. Her response was, "Oh, that is too bad, I liked fucking you... oh well." He realized in that moment that he had made the right decision. Sometimes it takes a kick in the pants to make our dear loves see something different. Apparently that is up for argument as to whether or not it's justified, but I for one think if my marriage is on line, the welfare of my child is on line, the mortgage payments are on line, then I am going to get up in his face and tell him it has to stop. That is where my trust in his judgment ends and his trust in my judgment had to begin. The debate is whether or not this kind of thing is fair to the other partner... that is up to you as is all of it. Still, you are not alone with this struggle.