Originally Posted by researching
hubby did made the mistake early on of going right back to a full work schedule (which was 14-16 hours days for him at that time) and it did not end well, so he has been much better since. The worst damage from that period has been repaired for some time now, and we're working on patching over the remaining cracks. I think on my part that petty resentments do build up faster than they used to because of it, but we have discussed this many times and he's good about backing off when he realizes he's tromping on thin ice.
So, he is not the most hands-on dad in the world, but not useless either
okay, more info here. hubby working too late, getting back on track to something that works... and he isn't as much of a hands on dad as you expected.
I think when kids come along we really SEE how a partner really is. It's all very well to think they are awesome before hand, but they become incredibly not after child birth. Not that it's their fault. They and we are just not ready for the trauma of it all. I really think that the first 5 years are the most crucial not only for the child but the parents also. Children do a lot of growing and becoming themselves then and so do parents... after that things slow down, more independence happens and life finds a routine. Sometimes that is when parents break up, because there seem to be a long haul ahead of shit that isn't wanted at that point after the dust settles. And then there is parents that break up after kids leave home, because there is the surprise of having to live ones life with someone that isn't close anymore because of years of child rearing. Really, I'm surprised any relationship survives child rearing and I really think that those that do are miraculous.