Wait... I never asked him not to introduce me as his girlfriend. It was assumed in the beginning of our relationship that we were fwb's only...but it evolved into more. My BF is the one holding back from introducing me as more than a friend. He is concerned about other people making judgements. My opinion is that other people make judgements no matter what the situation. They either choose or refuse to accept a relationship that has given happiness to two people... happiness that many people never find. When I said my husband was "agreeable" I meant that he also feels that the BF should introduce me as his GF if that is what he wants to do.
I have never hidden him as my dirty little secret. My children know I have a very close friend that is a man and they accept that. My adult friends are also aware that I've got a male friend that I spend a lot of time with, alone and with other people. He is a wonderful man that I would be proud to introduce as my boyfriend.
As far as being secondary to my husband... please tell me how to have two primaries?! Until I can legally have two husbands.. he will have to be secondary to my husband and children. I can, will, and always have given my BF everything I can offer.. time, love, emotion, laughs and companionship. I've apologized for not being able to give him more. But I have always gone out of my way to NOT make him feel less important to me.
So while I thank you for your response, I do respectfully disagree with your opinion of the situation at hand.