Originally Posted by SvartSvensk
...What I'm still undecided on is whether to let her see this lover again. On the one hand, they had a great time together and I know she wants to see him again, so that makes me feel like if I deny her that, it'll just make her want him more... On the other hand, I just don't think he's the kind of guy I want in my home - I'm still coming to a decision on this one. Either way, we're instituting a new rule: When choosing a lover, consider how you would feel about them meeting both of us. Don't choose a lover you would not want me to meet, and vice-versa.
I'm reading this as, give your blessing
instead of let her
. Honestly, at the very least, if you're uncomfortable having this guy in your home, you have the right and I think it would be reasonable to start the negotiations with that. I don't know if you want to consider her seeing him elsewhere--frankly, I would NOT be understanding of lovers who I didn't feel were safe around my kids--but I think you have the right to ask that he not come to your home.