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Old 08-06-2009, 10:14 PM
AJbear77 AJbear77 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: FL
Posts: 23
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First off, to Mono...I meant comlement earlier - not comment . I am sure you got that though.

Redpepper - You have a lot of great insights. You come across as fiery, but in a good way (overall. not in the comments to me. I have felt pampered with those and it is much appreciated)

Yes. We were looking at this as journey to take together. I wanted to put it on the table as well to alleviate some of my fear of her leaving me for a man, because then she would know (and I would know) that she could approach me if she had desires and feelings she felt she needed to explore.

We just had a conversation...again...while running errands, and I told her about what I had been talking about here. I had not told her about the difference I felt about a man penetrating her because it was an intimacy we could not share, because thinking about my feelings in order to respond here was when I was able to pinpoint what it was about it. She understood my point. And yes, if this ever were to happen, it would have to be with a condom for sure. No if, ands, or buts about it. That is showing utmost respect for ones own body and for the primary partner in the relationship for sure.

Anyway, we know that we need to work more on us right now, anyway, because after 9 years, we are kinda in a rut. So, we have made a decision to table this for now, work on us, and once we are where we want to be with each other again, discuss our views and feelings then. Even not having been poly before, I have enough foresight and logic to know that there will be problems if we are not getting all that we need from each other already. We can't use others to fill a void or that is a disaster waiting to happen, and a major jealousy producing situtation.

But, I will stick around to read more and ask questions. The concept of more love is what intrigues me the most and makes it desirable. Like expanding a family. That is what I like most in the way Mono describes it. Ideally, I think if I could get over the sex part of it when it comes to her and a man, and we (I like the idea of us chosing together for that feeling of some input and control) find someone together that we can agree on and that I can see as a friend, it might be nice. Especially since I have not had many good men in my life. It would be nice for a man to love and respect me for me, not having anything to do with sex, because I don't want that. Baby baby baby steps.
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