There isn't a way to know that someone is 100% a safe haven really.
We've been lucky personally-but where we live is generally very open-minded and easy going ANYWAY.
We're out to damn near everyone we know. We've all lived in the community our whole lives and we are in contact with people we've known from childhood. But we've had very few people react negatively at all.
The few that were at all negative limited it to "there is NO WAY I could handle that". But they certainly didn't judge us harshly or end their relationships with us over it.
Maca is out to a number of his coworkers.
I don't work, but I'm out to everyone except our homeschool program (which is state run). That isn't so much a matter of not wanting to be "honest" with them, as much as the topic has never arisen.
They KNOW all of us and they know we are all signers for the kids and all of those things. GG participates as a "parent" for the kids there. But they've never asked or inquired as to WHAT the roles are between us adults.
Everyone else-I'm just me. Most of the time the question arises after they see me kiss GG or holding his hand. Once asked I just tell them, we have a polyamorous family and he's my boyfriend, yes Maca and I are still happily married and no we aren't getting divorced, yes of course he knows-we all live together.
Our extended families know. I don't think my stepsiblings on my dad's side know-but we aren't close and don't keep in touch. I don't think that my brothers wife knows-but that's mostly because she doesn't want to, she SEE'S it, just doesn't chose to acknowledge. I don't think Maca's brothers wife knows-but I haven't seen her in YEARS quite literally-even though they live a couple miles down the road.
All of our parents know and GG's siblings know too.
I guess for us-we just don't give a shit what people think, so we don't make an effort to worry about what they will think. This is us, this is our life; take it or leave it.
Even our kids know-ranging from 19 years down to 3 years with the middle ones being 10, 13, 14. They know-they don't care. We've all lived together for most of their lives....
"Love As Thou Wilt"