Confused.. Scared.. Feeling very Lost
My boyfriend and I have been swinging for a very long time and that lifestyle I was totally comfortable with .. we had lots of fun with it.. Our relationship has ventured to the seriousness of talking about getting married very soon. well he has always been able to play alone on the side.. as have I.. anyhow..He was seeing a girl for a about a month now that seemed very cool.. and decided to tell her that he was in fact in a serious relationship with me. to which she was not shocked or surprised and she welcomed it and he proposed that the three of us venture into a Poly relationship. This sounded like a good Idea however I have never done it before.. but agreed to do so.. She and I get along wonderfully and I think the world of her.. she is not where the problem lies.. The feelings I have when the three of us are together it seems that he is constantly being completely affectionate with her and I know I shouldnt compare the things he does with her to what he does with me but its hard.. I get this painful feeling in my stomach and at times i feel like im intruding on them and should give them privacy in my own home.. Why do I feel this way.. Him touching another woman when we swung never bothered me.. but I feel as though im invisable.. its like he doesnt kiss me that way.. he doesnt just randomly reach over to touch me like that.. I dont like feeling this way.. This weekend was very bad.. we spent the whole weekend together and at times i felt i was a third wheel and it freaked me out and we had a big arguement.. I told him how I was feeling and he said its because its new and to give it time for things to settle in.. so i agreed.. and today I told him I had questions and he was like stop worrying about the future and just enjoy it .. Both of them have been in poly relationships in the past and know what to expect I dont.. Will he always still live with me.. Will we still get married .. how will she feel when we do.. What happens to us if this doesnt work.. god im scared..