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Old 09-08-2010, 08:27 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

sometimes I get so into wanting to respond I don't read what others have said, so if I repeat then I apologize... I might come back and say more after.

First off:
HELLO???!!! they didn't use protection and you are worried about the kind of sex they had?! You have a child to think about! Let me guess, you and her didn't after either? Now you both could be infected with something. I am surprised at you lack of concern over that fact. Especially at you age... ? confused. :confused That to me shows huge lack of responsibility. I would be getting tested as soon as you can and then tested again in 6 months. This guy sounds like he has done this kind of thing before and has probably not used protection with numerous women.

It sounds like he is using your wife for a good time not a long time and that he is taking advantage of the fact that you aren't at home. I bet if he meets you the reality will set in and he will be gone shortly after.

Sex like that does not last. You are the baby daddy. not the lustful stud. You are the one she is attached to. That is long lasting, not what she has with this guy. Who cares if he is good at sex with her. It's new, of course it is good... it is someone she hasn't had before.

It bugs that she broke boundaries. That to me is cheating and not open (which is what this sounds like more than poly as I don't remember the mention of love or and kind of steps to commit to knowing you or her in any other way than drunk and high in bed). When boundaries are broken then resentment, distrust, deceit, denial, and disrespect set in.

You seem to have a long journey ahead to get this poly thing... or open thing. Lots of trust is broken now. I feel for you. Protect your child first. He is your best interest here. Not either of you.
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Last edited by redpepper; 09-08-2010 at 08:30 PM.
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