So, building on the previous post, for example, my love language is physical touch. As a matter of fact, I scored so high in this one that I didn't have a secondary. After much struggling, Easy learned that no matter how furious I am with him, if he can sneak his hand somewhere where there is exposed skin, I start calming down. It's not manipulative--I don't want to be that angry or upset. He's helping me, and it makes me feel better.
He, on the other hand, is an Acts of Service guy. It used to be that, in the middle of a fight, he'd pop up and leave the room. Turned out he was doing the dishes to show he loved me, and he never understood why I didn't think this was fabulous (until we read the book) and I never understood how he could just walk out when we were trying to hash through things.
Even though the book has a bit of a religious bent, I think it's well worth reading, and it's a quick read. We struggled for years and years, ripping our hair out in frustration because we couldn't figure out how to really communicate with each other.