I'm hurting and I can't seem to work through it. Easy and I are going around and around and I can't seem to communicate what I need him to hear. I know that our history together is hurting us here, but I can't let go of the feelings and I don't know what to do. I wrote him a letter but it didn't accomplish what I had hoped.
Our entire marriage I've felt like he's passed me over for other people and things. I mostly ignored it until we became polyamorous and then it exploded all over us. We've been working through it, slowly. But on Sunday it seemed like he passed me over and now it feels like we're right back at the beginning. I fell asleep waiting for him to come to bed, and when I woke up I found him and Asha being intimate. I guess I feel like I've spent all these years just waiting for him to notice me, so this is a big trigger. I can't stop crying and I can't get over it and I don't know how to handle it. I feel like I should walk out and give Easy a new start. He says it feels like I'm throwing him at Asha because I don't want him. But I can see how happy he is when he's with Asha, and he doesn't act like that with me. I feel miserable and like no one wants me. I need someone to tell me that I'll feel better when I've had some space. Right now I feel like there's something wrong with me, some glitch that makes it impossible for people to love me.
Last edited by Lemondrop; 09-08-2010 at 12:03 AM.