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Old 09-07-2010, 11:42 PM
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Lemondrop Lemondrop is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
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Oh, I so empathize with Indigo. I look at Easy with Asha, and how happy he is when he's with her, how carefree he looks and relaxed, and I think, "Wow, I can't give him that. We have children, we have bills, I have to take care of real life, and I don't make him smile like that. What am I doing here? I don't make him happy. I'm ruining his life and I ought to just let him go so that he can be happy."

I'll be honest, I'm struggling with this right now, too. I think the root of our current problem is that Easy forgets how much touch means to me. He will say "I love you" ten times in a five minute conversation but completely forget to touch me all day. If you're worried about hugging being manipulative, I can assure you that when Easy says he loves me so much, it feels like manipulation to me, but touch is honest. I don't touch people I don't want to be around. I don't touch a lot of people, period. If I go willingly into a hug, you are obviously important to me. So when Easy says he loves me over and over, I hear, "I want you to do something for me" but when he touches me, it feels like, "I like having you around."

If this sounds like Indigo, then the best thing you can do for him is to make sure that you touch him, even if you just brush across him shoulders as you pass by, but much better if you make sure that there's a fair amount of snuggling. You are not manipulating! You're making him feel better. Gah. I hope I managed to stay on topic.
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