I agree with lemondrop. Time doing something you enjoy together is good for re-connecting although I have found it doesn't work unless talking is involved and a no texting rule.
For me its dinner out please. I love that! We have a great city for it though. Anything from a picnic to a fancy meal. I love that. We go for walks quite often, of course we have Mono to babysit. I suggest a once a week date that involves no TV or internet unless you are researching and no texting. Start saving for sitters. Hands down that works for us. That and a half hour of engaging each other a day on what is going on in our lives. We try to make it eating together after the boy has eaten, but it doesn't always work. We also text each other once or twice a day to keep in touch and keep that connection going.
The rest of the time we are free to pretty much clock out from each other. As long as the daily stuff is getting done and talked about that is. That feeling of having made an effort to connect feels really good and make my time away from PN better and more enjoyable so I can connect with my other loves and people in my life. I would suggest that to her as a tried and true thing that others discovered here on the forum. Maybe it will get her reading?!
oh I recognise myself in her so much. *cring*