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Old 09-07-2010, 03:36 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Thank you for your insightful response, Rarechild.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rarechild View Post
I don't think the main thing is to explain the laughter. That'll just make it stop altogether. The important thing is to explain how much you love Indigo, and it sounds like this needs to be accompanied by you paying some rapt attention to him.
Perhaps, explain was the wrong word? Or maybe not. Actions speak louder than words, so more attention to SHOW how I feel rather than TELLING him how I feel would be exactly right.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rarechild View Post
Reading your post, it sounds like Indigo is really trying to give you everything you need to be happy and may feel that his strenuous efforts to show you how much he cares are being rewarded by you giving that good energy back to Mr. A and not Indigo.
This is true. It was a problem at the beginning, and may still be. I will check in with Indigo.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rarechild View Post
Of course the way you and Indigo are navigating the situation is a more somber and studied process than between you and Mr.A, because you have more history and maybe more tendency to predict each others behavior.
Would you mind clarifying this part?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rarechild View Post
The laughter will come when you're not worrying about it, when you're in the moment.
Oh, I'm not worrying about the laughter ... I love how we are together! When I say I've been paying attention to it lately, I meant that I would notice after a great laugh, "Oh hey, that was really nice. I'm happy we still have those!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rarechild View Post
I am always aware that each day is a decision for both Catfish and I to stay and do this. Not taking that for granted helps me know how to tickle my man's fancy. Sometimes I cheat by actually tickling him. Actually, a lot.
We're currently wedding planning, so I am definitely aware that each day is a choice! But in all seriousness, I do understand what you mean.

Unfortunately, I can't "cheat" with Indigo. Tickling may make him giggle, but it also gives him painful hiccups and he gets VERY grumpy.

Again, I have the revelation that I need to SHOW more than SAY. In most things, I appreciate words more than actions, and need to move away from that in order to properly communicate the emotions I feel for Indigo. For example, he made me a yummy breakfast this morning. Normally, I would thank him for this. (And mean it!) But remembering what I'd just posted I gave him a biiiiig hug instead. The smile on his face was wonderful! It feels a bit contrived to have to THINK to give him a hug or some other gesture instead of using words, (which mean so much more to me), but if I want him to understand how I feel, I need to do it in his "language".
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