So I saw this statement in another post and had a very strong YES to it. While it may not be enough to warrant its own thread, I have enough to say to warrant not hijacking the OT.
Originally Posted by TeJoKo
I think physical attraction is pretty important for romantic love... But emotions can also tell us we find someone attractive that we didn't used to just because we now have feelings for them.
I need to get to know the vast majority of men before any sort of attraction develops ... I have to hear them speak, see their attitude and personality before they become attractive. Now sometimes I may not need to see very much, but it's still a necessity. AFTER I see a personality I enjoy, my mind begins to notice physical attributes I like. This escalates, depending on the level of the relationship.
Funny, while all the girls in high school put up posters of this guy and that guy in their lockers, I went "meh."
Give me a traditionally HAWT man with a crummy personality, and I'll show you someone that I have no interest in. It does go to the point of affecting sexual desire. Perhaps this is why the vast majority of casual sex I've had has always been with friends? I find the act of trying to pick up at a bar unattractive, and so everyone in the bar just goes down a notch for me. (Even if I might have also been trying to pick up, not necessarily get laid.) Funny how the brain works!
Now women on the other hand ... I will immediately find a woman attractive! In terms of the strangers I check out, women make up 95%. Women tend to work backwards, if I find them immediately attractive. (If I don't find them immediately attractive, they follow the same path as a man.)
Here's an example:
-Saw the movie Domino, fell in lust with Kiera Knightley.
-Saw Kiera Knightley on the Daily Show, watched her bomb an interview with Jon Stewart. A quick wit and sense of humour is extremely appealing to me, to the point of being a necessity. She basically sat there and giggled at him.
-Immediately fell out of lust with Knightley.
-I do still enjoy Domino.
That's a shallow, "from afar" example, but it works the same in real life.
One might argue that I liked her "personality" in Domino, and I think this is somewhat true. However, her real personality easily overpowered that.
And finally, since it's six in the morning and I am just randomly throwing things in here, rather than formulating a cohesive post, I will say that if I ever met Kiera Knightley, and she turned out to be articulate and witty and wonderful, then that would overpower the Daily Show interview.
So, nothing is set in stone for me. I oscillate in my level of attraction, until I have enough "evidence" about that person that my body makes up its own mind.