sooooo... I'm a little surprised that the condom issue is not the main stage here. She broke a very big rule I would think. At least in our triad that is the only rule... none negotiable and really, a deal breaker in most cases. Onward to testing I should think no? In a few weeks you will need to be tested and he should be using a condom with you until then at the very minimum no?
As for breakups.... if you aren't going to see her then a phone call telling her that you have had second thoughts and this is the only way to let her know would be appropriate I think.
Too bad. It seems the unicorn fantasy comes crashing down again. Damned reality!
good luck sage. hope you are both healthy now.