My lovey, You put on a brave face last night for us didn't you? It's a very hard thing to have three weeks straight with me and then C comes up and I spend every night with him. If it helps any, C struggles with sencondary feelings too. The thing I try to voice is comparing will always bring up these feelings. Because 1) my relationship is unique with each of you and 2) circumstances always dictate the situation. When you came down to visit us we did not have a 3rd bed to retire to and with a 5 year old whos path to mommy and daddy's room goes directly through the livingroom where you would sleep it was impossible to fall asleep in your arms there, but we had our weekends where our arms never separated and didn't have to share each other with another soul. Complete privacy. Now that I live with you and not C, we do have a 3rd bedroom and our daughter also knows her mommy and daddy are together so openness is more available to us, but privacy is not. (5 year old) and we have a full house now so we had to make our one on one time last night. Which we felt selfish for. We stayed up waiting for you to return home. We were worried and you walked in with the biggest smile ever. Not sure if it was happy to see us and see that we cared or putting on a brave face. I'll ask when we have some alone time tonight.
Alls I know is, I love you and what we have is untouchable by anyone. We combine into something amazing and I will always do my best to make you feel like the soulmate you are. I did try to give you lots of affection. I know it will never be enough. I have that same insatiable hunger for you... But I try to fill you up. It's always a fear that I will make one of you feel less than. I never want to do this. Situations and circumstances make this feeling arise and that is understandable sometimes. I just don't want my actions to ever make this feelings come for either of you. I know that once we are all up here this will ease and I hope the comparing will subside. I told C this morning when he spoke of his own secondary feelings that it had gotten so bad at one point that he spent all of his time with me talking about the time you were getting with me. He sees it now. I hope he nor you go thrpugh it this badly ever again.
Lub Lub Lub You!!!