Thanks RP. I agree that if I were to stay it would be too much, too fast. The thought of living with them on a full time basis as being a "positive step" was more in response to Ariakis' comment about not seeing me in a "secondary" position at this time, but as them "fitting me into their lives" right now. And I don't see it that way. I don't see that they're fitting me in now.
One of my biggest concerns in considering a poly lifestyle was not being able to have the time and attention I'd like with the one I love. And right now that fear is looking me straight in the face. I don't necessarily see myself as taking on an additional partner/lover. I'd most likely be "mono" within the overall poly relationship.
I've been married two times. My former husbands were always my best friend and we enjoyed doing things together, although we had some separate interests and friends. I've struggled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome at various times in my life and don't have a lot of extra energy reserve when I have down time. I have to choose carefully when it comes to how much I can involve myself with other people and activities outside of work.
I don't know......poly may not be for me. I may be too selfish and needy. The relationship dynamics in terms of what to reasonably expect are so confusing for me. I just know that I don't want to be in a "secondary" relationship position, and he has said in the past that it's not his desire or intent for me to be in a secondary position either.
Last edited by dragonflysky; 09-06-2010 at 11:20 AM.